The Prescription

5 02 2011

I’m sitting cross-legged on my therapist’s couch 4 months after my husband’s announcement that he wants a divorce when my therapist informs me that he thinks I should start dating again.

Seriously??

I had told myself and others that I was going to take time off to concentrate on myself for once.  Between a husband and three boys, I didn’t know who I was anymore.  I just wanted to hang out with my girlfriends, drink martinis like a fish, and let the hair grow long on my legs if I wanted.  I had even gone so far as to announce to my friends that I was going to take a full year off from any kind of relationship.

Fundamentally, I also felt it was only right that I wait until my divorce was final and I was truly single to start dating again.   All that went out the window, with what I now heard my therapist saying.  The divorce was taking longer than I had originally expected, and four months had passed pretty quickly.  My year might be up in no time, and I might still not be divorced.

“I think you should start dating again. It would be good for your self-esteem,” my therapist says.

I look at him suspiciously. “Good for my self-esteem? Really? You obviously haven’t dated in a while.”  My therapist seems happily married. What does he know about dating?

“No, really.  You need to get back out there.  I’m afraid you’re just sitting at home, feeling bad about what’s happened.  I don’t want you to get stuck there.  I think the attention you’ll get by flirting and putting yourself back out there will be good for you.”

“I don’t know.  I’m an over-weight, 42 year old woman.  Men can be pretty brutal.  They all want 25 year old women with tits that point up, not down.  I don’t see how that would be good for my self-esteem.”

“No, you have a lot to offer someone.  You’re smart, funny…”

“I have never found intelligence to be an asset when dating.”

“No, come on. Not all men are like that.” 

I really think my therapist struggles with what to say to me sometimes.

“You just need to be more selective,” he says, “I’m not talking about jumping right back into an intimate relationship.  I’m saying you should just date. Date 100 men before getting serious with anyone.”

“100 men?  I don’t know if I have the endurance.  Do you have any idea what’s out there?”

He smiles, and says, “You just need to establish some ground rules.  One hundred men without getting seroius.  Take it slow.  Just have fun.  No recycling old boyfriends. That was the past, and you’re better than that.” 

This is starting to sound interesting.

“No losers. No lost souls. No control freaks.  You’ll meet someone better.  You need to meet a Jewish doctor this time.”

I try it ignore the fact that my therapist is a Jewish doctor.  I’m confident that he’s not talking about himself, but I can’t help but note the fact that he may be slightly biased.  Funny as this is to me, I recognize what he’s saying.  In the year and a half that I’ve been seeing him, he’s actually given me better financial advice than ANY financial planner I’ve ever met.  My husband didn’t even own a car when I met him.

“Oh, and if you meet someone who you’re immediately attracted to like you were with your husband,” he says, “run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.”

Got it.

I leave his office intrigued by the idea.  I’m not ready to act on it yet, but I decide to ask my friends for their opinions.

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12 responses

5 02 2011
Christy

Oh my. This should be quite a ride! Incidentally, I’m saddling up as a voyeur on your doctor’s orders.

5 02 2011
CMSSLPG

Enjoy! The key, I think, is in the advice your therapist gave you… to JUST date; not get intimate! I had over 100 guys in the little book I kept when I was dating before I met Mr. #1…It was interesting and when I saw a red flag, I said “NEXT!” Wishing you a lot of fun as you puruse the dating scene.

6 02 2011
evilEvan

I love it. This is book material!

7 02 2011
suz

I love the date 100 guys before you get serious with anyone. I can’t wait to read about each and everyone of your dates! It will be therapy for all us single gals. Let the dating begin!

7 02 2011
Kim

I think you should do it and blog about it!! “The 100” makes me think of the movie 300…lots and lots of men. I like “The 100” as a short name for your blog. It could be fun. And strange. And a whole bunch of other things, too. It is like a dating marathon…you’re right to be concerned about endurance. You might need to plan reprives from dating. Do you really have to establish ground rules? What are they? Are they per doctors orders?

Looking forward to the next installment.

13 03 2011
jeff

Was reading th cl ads after getting a little mini comic about cl and yours was there. I have checked out your online stuff here and would be glad to help. J

5 07 2011
Simply Solo Spotlight: SeniorPeopleMeet.com – My MOM Posts a Profile for Me « Simply Solo: Single girl starting over – follow the journey

[…] I published my first blog post, announcing to the world that I would be taking my therapist’s direction to date 100 men, my mom […]

11 08 2011
Serial Dater Pupates to Social Butterfly « My Dating Prescription

[…] out with my ex-boyfriend, but before you start reading anything into this, remember I am under doctor’s orders and recycling old boyfriends is strictly forbidden.  Besides, he is in a long-term, long distance […]

27 08 2011
Following Doctor’s Orders « My Dating Prescription

[…] my therapist issued his prescription, there were really two parts to his orders that I was supposed to follow. The first part of the […]

28 08 2011
Following Doctor’s Orders – Part 2 « My Dating Prescription

[…] a few of you have guessed, the second, and most important, part of my therapist’s prescription involved staying away from losers, control freaks, lost souls, and last but not least, running away […]

8 02 2012
Rom Com and the Blog « My Dating Prescription

[…] my friendships for a little online storytelling and dating humor. I explained to my friend how the whole thing got started, and emailed her links to  the first post, Confessions of a Serial Dater, and Man #11, Il Mio […]

18 07 2012
Yes, I’m A Picky Bitch « My Dating Prescription

[…] The prescription: date 100 men without getting serious with anyone.  You may recall that none of this was my idea.  I never wanted to be divorced, and when my therapist told me he thought I should get back out there and date, I thought he was a nut job. I will also remind you that I don’t particularly like dating.  In fact, I think it sucks.  If I could meet the man of my dreams and never have to go on another date, it would be fine by me.  However, here I am. I’m doing it. I hate it, but I’m doing it. Just that alone makes me want to say a big “fuck you” to anyone who wants to complain about my methods. […]

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