Where to Find a Date

10 02 2011

When I finally decided I was ready to date again, the problem became where to find someone I would want to date.

The old adage goes that you should just do the things you love, and, when the time is right, you will meet someone with whom you have something in common.  I thought I would give this idea a shot.  It seemed like a harmless baby step.

I went for a two hour trail walk with fifteen other owners of rescued dogs.  I had a lot of fun.  I met some great people.  I met some great dogs.  I met some great men.  MARRIED men.  There was not a single man in sight. 

It was a beautiful afternoon, talking with old friends, making new friends with like-minded individuals, and bonding with my dog.  But, two days later, the only lasting reminder I had from my outing was severe chafing of my inner thighs where my pants had rubbed me the wrong way.

Note to self:  You own moisture-wicking athletic pants for a reason.  No jeans with double seams on two hour trail walks.  That’s just begging for trouble.

I went to a Super Bowl party.  I thought for sure that if there were going to be single men anywhere, it would be at a Super Bowl party.  Alas, again, all the men were there with their wives.  I still had a great time, and I love Super Bowl parties.  I love the commercials, the players in tight pants, and the guy food that’s served.  I’m a big fan of chili, chips and dip, and sliders.  I really am.

I am.  I didn’t become overweight eating salads.

But, here are my words of wisdom regarding trying to find men in this way:  You MUST be authentic.  Do the things you love, because you love doing them, not because you hope to meet someone.  Don’t let the hope of meeting someone be the only reason for going to an event.  That’s just foolish.  It’s just as foolish as wearing jeans with double seams on a two hour trail walk.  It’s just begging for trouble.

The more important thing about getting out and doing the things you love, is that it is your chance to take your life back, explore your passions, and live your life out loud.  Why screw that up by making finding a mate a primary reason for going?

At 42, most of my friends are married.  They invite married couples to the parties they throw.  But, one thing became perfectly clear to me.  I would never meet 100 men at this rate.

However, I have a group of approximately 6 girlfriends my age who are also single.   It made me wonder.  Out in the universe somewhere, is there a group of 6 single guys who get together like my friends and I do?  Where are they hanging out?  Are they hanging out?

My single girlfriends again gave me their dating pointers.

Thousands of men are hanging out on the internet.




2 responses

10 02 2011

Doing what you love to meet men works best when you are young. When you are young the things you do revolve around being single or are done mostly my single people. This is not true of us old folks… If you don’t want to jump into internet dating yet, try speed dating. Think of it as an interesting psychology experiment, keep low expectations and you will have fun.

12 02 2011

Where is the best place to go speed dating? Any ideas?

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