Launching Into Cyberspace

20 02 2011

If I was set on dating 100 men before getting serious, it was only a matter of time before I had to consider online dating.  At the rate that I was meeting men….

Let’s see. Quick calculation.  Zero men in five months.

Yeah, at the rate that I was meeting men, I would BE 100 before I met 100!  My only hope was to either try speed dating or online dating or both.  Online dating was the only way to get the kind of volume I needed.  In fact, the more I thought about this, calculated best case scenarios, and the number of dates per week I could realistically fit into my busy schedule, the more I realized this could be a very long project.  It was, in fact, at this point that I considered that my therapist might be certifiably insane.

I had been out of the dating pool for a while, so I was not sure which online dating sites were available and which were the best.  Of course, I was aware of and because they are the first to pop up on Google, they have commercials on television, and, in fact, some people I know have actually married people they met on these sites.  But, there are other online dating sites out there, and every site has its pros and cons.

One of my friends recommended two free sites, and  Free is good, but she also added the caveat that you get what you pay for.  That statement made me curious, however, so I had to go browse the offerings. 

There seemed to be a lot of potentially decent men on PlentyofFish, but the website is not very sophisticated.  What the site lacks in design, however, it seemed to offer in quantity and email features, so I decided to create a profile.  It was free after all. What did I really have to lose?

I also tried to browse OkCupid, but this site does not let you window shop before you set up a profile.  I personally found this extremely annoying.  What’s the point of investing time in posting a profile if the site is primarily populated by losers?  When I did finally decide to start moving through the steps to set up a profile, my computer freaked out from the malware infecting it.  Since my internet security software seemed to need a Durex spermicidal condom for protection just to access this site, I decided to immediately exit, and run a scan.  No Ok Malware. No OkCupid for me.  No thank you very much. popped up as I was creating my profile for PlentyofFish.  I don’t recommend going there.  It appears to be the depository for trailer trash.  I got the feeling that the people who were on this online dating site were mostly there for quick and nasty hookups, and that’s obviously not what I was looking for.  If you like men who take their shirts off and photograph themselves in the bathroom mirror, men who haven’t seen a razor in years, or men who think you’ll find them sexy wearing a “wife beater,” this site is for you.  If you’re looking for a little more sophistication, however, you’re probably better off on one of the other sites.

I also decided to create a profile on  The monthly fee of $17.99 seemed reasonable. The site is nicely designed and there seemed to be a nice variety of men my age.  I was initially a little confused by the six month guarantee.  If you pay for a 6 month subscription and you don’t find someone in that time, you’re supposed to get another 6 month extension on your subscription.  Once you put your credit card information in, however, Match will automatically renew your membership at the end of you initial subscription.  I understand why they do this, but this makes it seem to me like they don’t have much faith in their guarantee.  I’m just saying.

What they’re hoping for, of course, is that you won’t fulfill the requirements of the 6 month guarantee.  There are certain things you have to do to qualify for the subscription extension.  You must email 5 new people each month, have a photo posted on your profile, and your profile has to be visible.  Not too hard, really.

Although another friend of mine recommended eharmony.  Her comment was that the higher membership price, “level of participation, time suckage,” seems to filter out the freaks and pervs.  That may be all well and good, however, I take issue with this site.  E-harmony has a long history of discrimination against homosexuals.  It was started by Dr. Neal Clark Warren, Dean of the Fuller Theological Seminary in 2000 and is popular with Evangelical Christians.  In recent years discrimination cases have been battled out in court, but I can’t in good conscience support this dating site.  While I believe everyone has the right to worship whatever god they choose, I also believe that people have the right to love whomever they choose.  I will stand in solidarity with my gay friends on this one.

So, I was set. I had a free profile on PlentyofFish and a paid profile with a 6 month guarantee on  Now what?

I had to go see what was out there.




2 responses

26 04 2011
Happy Birthday to Me! « My Dating Prescription

[…] was actually the online dating site that I had decided to sidestep back in February.  When I had started to set up a profile, my computer was so inundated with ads […]

10 08 2012
Man #30, El Professore « My Dating Prescription

[…] members are, but OkCupid seems to be the best free online dating website so far. I take back every negative thing I said about the site. I stand […]

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