Dog Training for Dating

28 02 2011

I waited several hours after receiving The Blues Man’s email, and then sent a polite email in response. I let him know that my toes were doing fine, but besides this little flirtation, I in no other way indicated that I was interested in another date.

If there are any men reading this, they are probably going to hate me for what I’m about to say next, but I started thinking that getting men to do what we want is sort of like training a dog. I know that sounds terrible, but think about it. I’ve trained my dog to receive his Canine Good Citizen certificate through the American Kennel Club, which not an easy feat, and it has all been done through positive reinforcement and incentives.

You see, much in the same way men don’t seem to hear women when we speak, my dog does not speak English. He speaks treat. I used to try to explain this to my ex-husband as he was yelling, “sit, sit, SIT,” at the dog. 

No, yelling does not work.  Rewards, positive reinforcement, and making him work for everything good in his life is the main reason my dog is such a GREAT dog.  It’s not that different with men really.

If my dog does something that I don’t want, he doesn’t get a treat. So, if The Blues Man sends me an email without an invitation for another date, he has to wait several hours, maybe a whole day, for a response. If my dog does something that I want him to do, he gets a treat immediately. If The Blues Man calls or sends me an email asking me out again, I will respond right away.  I may not agree to a same day meeting, but I will let him know immediately that I want to go out again.

Not accepting booty calls and making a man wait a day or two for a date, I suppose, are the equivelant of a “stay” in dog terms.  A spontaneous getaway or a quicky may be fine later in the relationship, but I think making a man learn impulse control is important for establishing a certain level of respect in the beginning of a relationship.

Now, I don’t want this to sound like I’m saying men are dogs.  I’m not.  And, I’m not saying I want a man to follow me around like a lost puppy. I just believe that like dogs, men can be a little clueless about what women want sometimes.  In fact, I would say my dog is much more in tune to my needs than most men I have met.  The more we can do to reinforce the positive and let men know what pleases us, the happier everyone will be.

That’s my theory anyway. Dog Training for Dating.

Finally, if a dog tries to jump on you as soon as he meets you, the most effective technique to discourage him is to turn your back and ignore him. This is also good advice when dealing with a man who immediately tries to jump on you.  By speaking to him, even to say, “down,” is rewarding him with your attention.   I learned this the hard way in the streets of Rome where Italian men can be particularly persistent.

Luckily, nobody has tried to jump on me.  Yet.




6 responses

28 02 2011

I hear you!! As I’ve told my best friend, even the best of men, need the choke rein used occasionally or they get lazy. I think you are on the right track! One of the things that intrigued Mr. G the most when I first met him was that I didn’t NEED him. I was only looking for a man who would be RIGHT for me.

Here’s to a pleasant day… hugs.

28 02 2011

I have to say, I have never used a choke or prong collar on my dog. It’s about POSITIVE feedback, not punishment.

28 02 2011

Never used either on a dog!

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