Inhale, Exhale

16 03 2011

Well, let’s take a moment, shall we.  Find your center.  Relax.  Release any tension in your arms,… legs,… hands,… jaw.  Breathe.  Just breathe.

Let’s all try to stop being so angry now, ok?

Can I just say that Craigslist has been both a blessing and a curse ? It has opened My Dating Prescription’s readership up to many more male readers and this has certainly changed the dynamic around here.  It’s as though suddenly the men have come back from a hunting trip while we’re still in the middle of a baby shower.

Yesterday, the recap of my date with Man #4 drew the ire of one Mr. Jewish, not a doctor.  Apparently my methods have upset him and he proceeded to write his own blog post in the comments section of Man #4, The Poser.  I find this surprising considering that I believe Jewish, not a doctor has a column of his own to write somewhere, and therefore should also be well-versed in comment etiquette

I realize that the character depiction drawn of me in Mr. J’s remarks was produced with a scant amount of data, so I will try to make things a little more clear.

First of all, yesterday’s date with The Poser was a match.com date.   It was not from Craigslist, which means that the date occurred in the usual way that online dates do, with a couple of winks and several emails, followed by an invitation to have coffee.  It was just a date as usual.  Through the course of our conversation, I seriously started to think that he might be a con man, but I was pleasant.  He was pleasant.  There was no spark, and I released him back out into the pond.

If we want to think of this blog as an experiment, I guess match.com and Plentyoffish might have just become my control groups, while Craigslist is where I’m trying to be as transparent as possible to see how that is received by the men there.  Because it was Craigslist, and I’ve heard such horror stories, I took the approach that I did, thinking it would cut down on some of the riff-raff.

It’s true. I let myself go during my marriage, and I’m not proud of it.  Since I started writing this blog, a number of my friends have told me that I’m too hard on myself, but like my mother said, I remember that just a few short years ago, I was a happy, healthy, vibrant, THIN woman.  I don’t know if Mr. J has ever been in an emotionally abusive relationship, but I hope he never has to be on the receiving end of it.  What I do know is that being with the wrong person can do a lot of damage very quickly whether you’re male of female, and if I can use this blog as a platform to talk about that issue occasionally, then maybe I will have helped my readers (who are primarily women struggling with some of these same issues) in some way.

On that note, Mr. J’s self-respect comment seemed particularly vicious, but again, it’s an assumption he was making only from what I’ve written here as a writer, not because he has any clue of who I am as person.  I’m well aware of how to treat a man.  In fact, as my mother pointed out, I’ve probably been too nice most of the time.

While posting an ad on Craigslist may seem like a random approach, this is a commentary about dating, in particular online dating.  I would be doing the topic a disservice if I did not experience the deluge of perversion that exists on Craigslist.  Some of my friends go there to find dates, and therefore, this discussion would not be complete without me going there too.  I could have simply posted an ad similar to everyone else’s, but I went for full disclosure.  Maybe that was the wrong approach. I don’t know.

Another assumption that was made erroneously… regardless of the wording in my ad on Craigslist, I am treating this process pretty much the way I would if I was looking for “The One.”  Pandora’s comment is correct.  If #21 turns out to be my soul mate, I’m certainly not going to let a good man go to waste.  In fact, after my date with The Blues Man I was afraid I would have a serious dilemma on my hands.  If he had called for another date, there might not be a blog by now.  I have men who have told me they want to be numbers 34, 51, and 99, but I have no idea if I will get there.  What Mr. J and the rest of my readers are not seeing are all of the conversations and emails that are going on behind the scenes to set up these dates, find out if we have things in common, and hopefully start friendships.  I have no set expectations nor limitations about how this will all evolve.

Finally, I will just say one last thing.  I bought my own goddamn coffee.

Om shanti om.

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10 responses

16 03 2011
CMSSLPG

Well said! Onward & Forward…… NEXT!

16 03 2011
Ann

You do NOT need to apologize. If he doesn’t like what you wrote, he can go fuck himself. It’s his problem. He needs to get a life AND a sense of humor. This blog is for YOU and your readers. Write what you want. If he doesn’t like it, he can go elsewhere and read something else. Don’t censor it because you’re afraid it might offend some poor sensitive soul. Your friends love you and know what you have been through. I can not perceive, for the life of me, how a stranger thinks he can know you and what you’re really like. For all he knows, you could be a man making all this up. So let me repeat, write what you want and to hell with what anybody else thinks. You’re a stronger woman than that. And you’re a beautiful person. I’d type more, but I’m housesitting at a house that doesn’t have internet access and I’m way behind on my emails and my eharmony. Love you, girl. Don’t change.

17 03 2011
mydatingprescription

Thanks, Ann.

16 03 2011
Evan

Ms. Prescription,

I find your blog both witty, charming and I do agree you are far to hard on yourself. I think your proactive dive back into the dating world is great model for all us chickens. As far as self-respect, I think have taken charge of that with both hands. Your blog proves your hootspa!

Signed,
Chicken in the wings

17 03 2011
mydatingprescription

Thanks, Chicken!

I’ve actually had two friends of mine tell me they are jumping back into the dating pool after reading this blog, so I hope it will be inspirational in some way.

17 03 2011
Jonathan

I’m surprised that it took this long for some loser to be offended. My best to you. Carry on.

17 03 2011
mydatingprescription

Thanks, Jonathan. I realize that some of the things I write will be offensive to some. Not all women will agree with me either, but I appreciate everyone’s comments. It helps keep everything in perspective.

19 03 2011
ElderBaud

I can confirm that the author is very well aware how to treat a man (most of the time).

19 03 2011
mydatingprescription

Thanks, ElderBaud. You’re my first testimonial (sort of).

18 07 2012
Yes, I’m A Picky Bitch « My Dating Prescription

[…] an entire blog post in response to reader comments. The last time this happened was when I wrote Inhale, Exhale in response to “Jewish but not a Doctor” ripping me a new one after my date with Man #4, […]

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