Man #14, Bitter Boy

7 05 2011

Glass Half Empty Half FullI’m so f*#$ing pissed at myself.

Right on the heels of my declaration to stop being so nice, do you want to know what I go and do??  Yeah, you guessed it. I was nice again.

Damn it!!

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Man #14 contacted me through, and after what seemed like far too many emails,  he asked if I wanted to meet for Happy Hour at Tacos Guaymas.  He seemed nice enough.  Plus, they serve a convenient economy-size $4.50 margarita during Happy Hour at Tacos Guaymas, so I agreed.

I’ve mentioned before how I dislike one sentence emails, but I had found myself being a little lax on the 140 character email rule.  I’m going to dedicate an entire post to a rant regarding texts, emails, and men at a future time, but let’s just say, that Man #14 had sent about 5 or 6 too many emails before finally asking me out on a date.

For the record, I don’t typically ask men out.  I wait for them to do it.  If it takes too long, I get bored and stop answering emails.  Not only that, but I have an inbox full of potential blog fodder.  I don’t have time to waste on a man who’s too passive to ask me out.  I just don’t.  Believe it or not, I have a life and other shit that needs to get done.

In spite of the fact that I had grown tired of emails that didn’t seem to be going anywhere, when Man #14 finally decided to ask me out, I welcomed it and was looking forward to meeting him.  I try to approach each new date with a positive outlook.  Otherwise, there would be no point in going, right?

I arrived at Tacos Guaymas to find Man #14 sitting at the bar. He was sipping a beer and eating the complimentary chips and salsa. I ordered my margarita, and we ordered food.  I don’t remember much about the conversation except that it turned out that he knew a couple of friends of mine, and I could not quite get a sense of whether he liked them or not.  The general vibe was neutral to negative though, and a man liking your friends is a big deal.

The second thing about the conversation that I remember is that, despite the fact that I told Man #14 that I don’t like to talk about exes on first dates, he proceeded to go on about his ex-wife.  This in combination with the fact that he sounded like he didn’t like my friends earned him the name Bitter Boy.  Overall, Bitter Boy did not seem to possess a very positive outlook on life, his divorce, and moving forward.  His divorce was four years ago.  I realize these things can be brutal, but no woman in her right mind wants to date a guy who sounds like he still has anger issues in regards to another woman.  I didn’t want to be rude or judge too harshly, but I found myself struggling  to find interesting, positive things to inject into the conversation.  He probably thought I was boring.

It’s becoming very clear to me how important it is that the men I date have a sense of humor.

Lastly, we talked a little about the bad luck he had had meeting people online.  He had a random assortment of online dating horror stories, but one thing he said was that women just seem to stop answering emails.


I tried to be nice.

The date lasted a couple of hours, we walked outside, and I thanked him for the date.  As we were saying good-bye, Bitter Boy said, “Well, I’ll leave the ball in your court.  If you want to go out again, call me.”

I heard myself say, “Ok.”

What I was really thinking as I walked away was, “Like that’s going to happen.  You don’t tell a woman with 86 other men to meet that she needs to call you for another date.”  Plus, I’m not going to go out on a second date with someone I didn’t even enjoy on the first date.

But, I haven’t even told you about how I was too nice yet.

So, I send the thank you message that I always send post date via text, and this seemed to give Bitter Boy an opening.  (Perhaps “Thank You” now means “She wants me” too.)  The next thing I know, I am getting one sentence text messages from Bitter Boy.  I responded to the first few texts, but there were a few I chose to avoid like, “Have you ever been to Maggotfest?”

The texts continued to the next day when he sent me a text commenting on the weather.  He wanted to know if I would want to walk my dog to a neighborhood bar.  I didn’t have anything going on that afternoon, so I thought, “Sure, why not?”  Something inside me must have remembered LB’s comment regarding not ruling guys out until after the second date.  It was nice outside, I was in a good mood, and I don’t know what I was thinking, so I said yes.

See, too nice.

Then he sent a text saying that he was glad I said yes, and how does next Monday sound?


What was all that shit about the weather if he wasn’t talking about THAT afternoon?? Oh for fuck’s sake!

My saying yes to the second date was a mistake.  I’m not going. He kept sending me bullshit text messages, one sentence at a time…

…and I finally just stopped answering.

Photo here.




7 responses

8 05 2011

someone once told me…you never get a second chance to make a first impression. 86 more dates..why bother with a 2nd date that you didn’t seem to like the first time. hmmmm… you are a nice lady. 🙂

8 05 2011

You think so? Sometimes I think it would actually be nicer to just be more forthright. To just stop answering texts seems less nice in comparison.

8 05 2011
Surrey gal

Are you at least going to tell him that you are not going? Or will will NOT be that nice? 😉

8 05 2011

See my comment to Gino. I was trying to weigh my options. If he reads the blog, he’ll get the message, but since I stopped responding to him, he probably got the message anyway. I’m afraid to text him as I don’t want to open the texting floodgates again.

8 05 2011
The Single Girl

Haha, thank God you stopped replying, he sounds like an absolutely charming guy!

9 05 2011

I DEFINITELY wouldn’t waste a second date on this guy. In fact, (and I know you are not a rude person :-)….just tell him thanks, but no you won’t be joining him on Monday. An e-mail would be the easy way but a phone call is more polite. If he persists, I have used this line before on a very persistent suitor: “On our last date I was both insulted and bored – an experience I don’t care to repeat!” (Feel free to use it as it worked.)

9 05 2011

Thanks, JJ.
I like that line you used. It is direct and concise, and like I said, I think my biggest problem is I just need to be more direct.

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