Jai Ganesh

2 09 2011

During the years that I lived with my husband, I had a saying written in Sharpie on my bedroom mirror.  (For those of you concerned about Sharpie removal from said mirror, let me ease your mind by saying that fingernail polish remover makes permanent marker much less permanent.)

But I digress.

Anyway, while I lived with my husband, I had this saying written on my mirror.  It read,

“Most of life’s problems will disappear on their own if you don’t get too attached to them.”

Now, this is not to say that someone should bury her head in the sand and hope her problems just go away.  No. What it means is that we often make our problems bigger by giving them more space in our lives than they really deserve.  Back then, this saying served as an important reminder to keep my husband’s drama in proper perspective and to not let myself get caught up in petty arguments.

A few months ago, I erased the above saying from my mirror, feeling I no longer needed it.  It was no longer a significant part of me or the tools I needed for my daily life.  I replaced it with a list of goals I plan to accomplish within the next five to eight years.  I would rather focus on new positive steps in my life than focus on guarding myself from negativity.

I was reminded of this old saying about problems today, however, because I was still trying to decide what to do about the Spicy Italian Sausage.  I knew I didn’t want a long-term relationship with him, but I thought I might entertain the idea of having sex with him.  He has a hot body, it has been a while, and well,…

…it’s sex.

This blog has been basically sans sex since it’s inception in February.  Instead of My Dating Prescription, I could call it Sexless in Seattle, but that might have a completely different connotation. But as you know if you’ve been reading from the beginning, my occasional use of the F-word is the closest thing I’ve had to sex, and I’m starting to look for loopholes in what my therapist means by “serious.”

So anyway, I was contemplating simply using the Spicy Italian for sex.

He said he wanted a long-term relationship, however, so I didn’t want to lead him on.  So, rather than dwell on the issue any longer, and making the problem bigger than it needed to be, I decided I would call him and have a frank conversation.  We’re both adults after all, and I believe honesty is the best policy.

So, yesterday as I was getting ready for work, I sent him a text asking if he was awake and if he could talk on the phone.  He responded,

“not able to now why r u horny?”

Ok, this is not the time for me to get distracted by how much I hate texting, bad grammar, and the like. The important thing to note here is that I had made no mention of the fact that I had been contemplating having sex with him at this point.  His “horny” comment came completely unsolicited.

I responded, “No, I want to talk to you when you’re available.”

To which I received, “stroking that big c$%k.” (Except he spelled it out.)

Wow. Now, at this point in our journey, you know I’m not afraid of the occasional dirty word, and despite the lack of it in my life at the moment, I happen to like sex.  What I don’t like is being spoken to (or texted) like a cheap whore. I did not respond. I finished getting ready for work, and while I was driving to work I realized my problem had just been solved for me.  This man was obviously not house broken, and there was no reason why I should ever speak to him again.

So, you see, “most of life’s problems will disappear on their own if you don’t get too attached to them,” and I feel so much better.  I can move on to date #21 without any complications.

Coincidently, yesterday was also the beginning of an annual celebration in India celebrating the Hindu deity, Ganesh, the Lord of Beginnings and the Remover of Obstacles, and when I found the following passage regarding Ganesh, I felt it was very apropos for the events of my day.

“…Ganesh has similarities to the gods Mercury or Thoth. He brings writing and knowledge. But he is most often known as the “Breaker of Obstacles”. This does not mean that if something blocks your way to success that appealing to Ganesh will result in your thundering through your opposition like some great juggernaut (a word derived from the name of a Hindu deity Jaganath). Rather, Ganesh breaks obstacles by working around them. He may not help you fix a relationship, but He might help you find a new one. He might not get you a raise at work, but you might get a job offer from another company for more money. Ganesh is a warrior, but is not into fighting for fighting’s sake. Indeed, that is why he lost his head and it had to be replaced with the head of an elephant. Rather, He helps you find other ways of overcoming obstacles. The real obstacles He breaks are those which prevent you from recognizing alternative solutions.”
Om gam ganapataye namaha!
 
 
Don’t forget to VOTE for My Dating Prescription in the CBS Seattle’s Most Valuable Blogger Award 2011!
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18 responses

2 09 2011
Grey Goose, Dirty

Holy cow. I just went thru almost the identical issue this week with someone. Liked him; not enough to actually ‘date’ him, but enough to finally break my dry spell. Had it all worked out in my head, then he up and ruined it by being gross and crass (not quite as bad as your Italian Sausage pig of a man).

Men are just plain stupid. If both of these guys would have just been nice and normal and not just sputtered out whatever came to their pervy minds, they could both be getting lucky right about now. 😉

2 09 2011
mydatingprescription

Totally, but they can’t seem to just keep their mouths shut and not text every perverted thing that comes into their heads. I think there are some men who actually think that this kind of thing is a turn on. It must work some of the time, or you would think they would figure out that letting their outside pervy voice speak is counter-productive.

2 09 2011
utahstateaggiegirl

Wow. I can’t believe he actually did that! Good riddance!

2 09 2011
mydatingprescription

It’s amazing. If you don’t rush into things, sit back and wait for a second, how a man’s true colors come out, huh?

2 09 2011
dkl

Where are you finding these winners?

Do you suppose he got the idea that it would be ok to behave that way after reading your entry about the date?

2 09 2011
mydatingprescription

The Spicy Italian was from Craigslist, so I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. No, he did not read the previous post beforehand. My posts are not necessarily happening in real time, so he actually behaved that way before the first post.

3 09 2011
dkl

Well maybe it’s time you met a laconic Swede 🙂

3 09 2011
mydatingprescription

My mother would LOVE that. She’s been dreaming about me marrying a Scandanavian since I was born! You get extra points if you have access to Sweden’s “Socialist” healthcare system. Not that I need anything done; it would just be nice to have.

Wait! Let me step back a minute. I only do first, and maybe second, dates. Are you asking me out?

8 09 2011
amazing_amazon

~ we have the same fantastic photographer in common, Luce Bella Life and she turned me on to yours blog, as I was lamenting my newly single status and what to do with the recent pics she had taken of me and my ex!
I’d watch out about the idea that it will only be sex. I fell for my own trap — which is exactly what I had thought 8 years ago. I am a full 6’1″ and he about 5’7″…………… that the sex was amazing is an understatement. But, as it turns out there was no underlying friendship to sustain us through the rough patches. So, now when the “ding, ding, ding’ bell of instant attraction goes off in my head, I too want to run the other way.
With that said, I’m still looking as well, but now taking my time. I’d like to meet the “laconic Swede if you don’t 😛

8 09 2011
mydatingprescription

Thanks for your comment, Amazing Amazon! As for the laconic Swede, he appears to be lying low, not saying anything…
…how typical.

10 09 2011
Catherine

Craziness! There’s no need for him to text you something like that! NEXT!

11 09 2011
wow

Ah, a Swede? As a 1/2 Dane, that’s still Scandihoooovean.

Waiting for the next installment.
Have you heard how the voting went?
Have a pleasant day! hugs, Mom

17 09 2011
Living the Dream

So what has happened to your blog, you haven’t posted for more than two weeks? Have second thoughts on the Spicy Italian (Laughing)?

17 09 2011
mydatingprescription

No second thoughts on the Spicy Italian. I can’t kiss toothless. I’m hoping to get Man #21 up today.

17 09 2011
Living the Dream

You know that man #100 will have a hell of an advantage if he reads your blog. 1) Bring a dog for your first date; check. 2) Don’t talk or text about sex; hmm…is this possible for guys???? 3) take your shirt off if possible (laughing) 4) Have all your teeth 5) talk about your gay friends, etc… It is very interesting that the guys you like and would consider sleeping with are probably not very good matches for you. Hmm … maybe the reason for 100 dates. I am very interested in hearing what you have learned about yourself and guys so far from your dating experience. Maybe at #25, you can do a reflective blog.

The main problem I see with the approach of dating 100 guys before you get serious is: 1) What if Mr. Right is #33? and 2) Guys won’t take you serious if they know your approach and they know they are #33 and not #99. I am trying to decide whether to ask you out or ask you for dating advice. I think it would be fun to read what you might write about me. I have been single for 4 years after an 18 year marriage, and really enjoyed dating for awhile, and while I have learned a lot about myself and what I “think” I want, I have also become less enthusiastic and more jaded at the process. I will no longer date women who is new to dating; even if they have been single for 2+ years. I realize there is a chicken or egg thing here, but I really don’t like “dating” and especially the first couple of dates. Maybe I should just create a UTube video. Now that its a good idea. I wonder if it would work.

Looking forward to reading your next post. I vote for the blond hair and blues eyes type. Self serving I guess.

19 09 2011
mydatingprescription

Thank you for your thoughts, Living the Dream.

1)Bring a dog. Yes.
2) Talk about sex, but only do it in a way that doesn’t make you sound like a perv jacking off in a corner.
3) Take your shirt off if your abs are worth revealing. Otherwise, leave it on.
4) Have teeth. YES! Have your teeth! Please.
5) You don’t have to talk about your gay friends, but please don’t be homophobic.

Your observations, and the observations of my therapist, are correct. I am not very good at picking men who are good for me, which is exactly the reason my therapist wants me to do this LITTLE exercise. As far as reflection, I’ve been contemplating including more dialogue from my therapy sessions. My therapist is pretty funny, and maybe a little nuts.

Regarding the latter part of your comment, you are making some erroneous assumptions.
1) If Mr. Right is #33, I have said in previous posts that I would not take the “project” any further.
2) This should probably read like a prospectus: “Past performance does not guarantee future results.” What I have experienced so far by dating men who were readers of my blog is that it didn’t seem to help them one bit. Check out Men #13, #17, and #19. I think they forgot that I was still a person interested in a date, and were more interested in how they would appear in print. Men #13 and #17 were upset when my perceptions of the date were different than what they anticipated.

Not trying to dissuade you, but reflecting on past experience.

6 11 2011
What Happened to The Suitor? « My Dating Prescription

[…] a midnight booty call/text, but it seems similar.  Also, considering my recent experience with the Italian Sausage only wanting to text about stroking his c%&* during early morning messages, I was afraid I was […]

17 08 2012
Are You Trying to Make Me Like You? « My Dating Prescription

[…] idea at all since the last Italian who flirted with me through texting made a surprise reference to his c&%k, but since SIM and I have finally scheduled our first date for sometime next week, I figured it […]

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